Crossing Buendia Avenue through the rallying throng, trying to get a cab to take me to Glorietta so I could have a nice lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in ages who was leaving for the U.S. (aren't they all?) told me much about my state in relation to the the state of my country.
As in...please let us get on with out lives. Please let us go on with a regular day at work. Aren't people just sick of "EDSA 1,2,3, to the nth power"? Has any change in government over the last 10 years changed anything? One thing is always certain with a power struggle--- the economy always takes a dive and many people bear the brunt of it. I've never been very political, but as someone who pays water, electric and grocery bills, it has me bothered.
But since we can do nothing but laugh, as individuals and as a nation, here's a hilarious piece I picked up from email.
Enjoy!
******************************
THE SHADOW CABINET
ECONOMIC TEAM - Susan's thrust will be to achieve an ECONOMIC MIRACLE that
the country missed in the 80's and 90's. Nobody is better equipped in
making this MIRACLE happen than Nora Aunor (Himala). As NEDA Secretary,
Sec. Aunor will not draw water from brooks of Kupang (Place of Himala), but
would make miracles happen by encouraging people to believe in themselves.
According to the future NEDA chief. "Tayo ang gumagawa ng Himala" She will
be assisted by Underscretary Madame Auring to guide the government in
taking the miraculous path.
Sec. Aunor will be supported by Sec. Pepe Pimentel (Finance) and Sec.
Roderick Paulate (Budget and Management). As Finance chief, Sec. Pimentel
is well aware of where the "Kwarta" is. And no matter how small revenue
collection will be, the public purse will be efficiently handled and kept
by Budget Secretary Paulate in his "Bayong" with Undersecretary Amy Perez.
Finally, the Team is completed by Trade and Industry by the tandem of Sec.
Mura and Undersecretary Mahal to make sure that the basic commodities are
priced right, neither expensive (Mahal) nor cheap (Mura).
SERVICES TEAM - True to his populist color, Susan will give more to those
who have less in life. Being allied with the GMA administration, MMDA Chair
Bayani Fernando will be replaced by another Bayani, New MMDA Chair Bayani
Agbayani. As such he will scrap the Odd-Even scheme and implement a simpler
"Ocho-Ocho" traffic program, i.e., no cars in Edsa from 8am to 8pm.
Agriculture Department will be headed by Sec. Vilma Santos to ensure that
food supply will be bountiful in all seasons in all regions.
Housing, being the cornerstone of the Susan Roces Administration, will be
given to an equally regal and competent person, HLURB Secretary Dolphy. As
such, he will ensure that the masses get their deserved homes either along
the riles (railroads) or airports. The middle class on the other hand will
be helped by Undersecretary Nova Villa.
The National Youth Commission will be headed by German Moreno so that he
can help develop the talents of the millions of Filipino Youth. He will be
assisted by Commissioners-At-Large Jojo Veloso and Alfie Lorenzo.
Social Welfare portfolio will be given to no less than Sec. Willie
Revillame. He will leave his show to prepare for government service. To
fund the welfare programs, the young Lucky Manzano will be appointed to the
PCSO and PAGCOR.
Finally, the Department of Health will be headed by Dr. Vicky Belo. The
projects in line are as follows: Oplan Alis Skin Disease, Tangal taba, and
Libreng Lipo sa Masa.
RESOURCES TEAM - Susan Roces' policy is the full development of our
resources for the benefit of the people.
Department of Energy will be headed by Sec. Gary Valenciano. No more PPA,
just pure energy.
The Environment portfolio will be given to Sec. Chin-Chin Gutierrez and
supported by Bureau of Forestry Director Rico J. Puno, Mines and
Geosciences Directress Gretchen Barreto, and Undersecretary Jimmy Bondoc.
DEFENSE AND LAW AND ORDER TEAM - Considering the lack of respect the
citizens have for the law of the law, Susan will implement the policy of
law without fear or favor.
The Defense Department will be given to Sec. Annabel Rama who is feared by
the devil himself. If she can handle Ernie Maceda, why not the generals of
the AFP. If she can defend Ruffa's integrity despite all her shenanigans,
what more the integrity of the national territory.
The Department of Interior will be headed by another fighter, Sec. Mystica
who is well aware of the workings of the police after figuring in weekly
brawls ever since she entered showbiz. She will be assited by PNP Chief
Paquito Diaz, an expert on mobs and thugs.
FOREIGN AFFAIRS TEAM - Susan will continue the current government's
constructive engagement. Among the members of the nation's new foreign
service are the following Ambassadors:
Africa Union - Susan Africa
Austria - Amy Austria
Brunei Darusalam - Cristina Gonzalez
Colombia - Ace Vergel
Germany - Baron Geisler
Israel - Dick Israel
Jordan - Jordan Herrera
Spain - Gerald Madrid
Romania - David Bunevacz
Russian Federation - Nanette Medved
Turkey - Ruffa Gutierrez-Bektas
United Kingdom - Princess Punzalan
United States - Angelica Jones
The Department of Foreign Affairs will be headed by Sec. Melanie Marquez
(Miss International) who is very experienced in "international"
relationships.
OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT - Lastly, to manage all the department secretaries,
a function of the Executive Secretary, no less than Exec. Sec. Lily
Monteverde will "manage" all of them to make sure that they work in line
with government policies. If Mother Lily can manage the whole Regal Family
(plus Regal Babies), what more the nation's Official Family. She will be
assisted by Presidential Management Staff Sec. Lolit Solis, another
"talent" manager. To complete the roster of palace officials, the
residential Spokesperson's job will be given not to Boy Abunda nor Cristy
Fermin as other have speculated, but to the reliable Sec. Rey Pumaloy
(Aminin!) to ensure that the government will not hide anything from the
public.
Kay SUSAN tayo !!!!
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